Frustration

I do not believe in true independence. I think there is always something to depend on. Human beings were created to be dependent. I speak of dependence as an overall thing. I cannot therefore claim indepednence on my own existence because i depend on air to breathe- on the farmers to make the food grow, and to seek my purpose in life. It is frustrating to not know how to depend and to try to depend on what I think I know. If only I could truly be independent. Which meant surviving without the means to have to survive and surviving would no longer be a verb but just be a part of what I am.
It is frustrating to grapple with the idea that I choose my destiny but at the same time, as much as I can predict the pattern of what might happen, I still do not know because one will always be trying to adapt to the situation in thinking that we are making the situation adapt to us. Perhaps it is about conforming our souls to the harsh realities of this life instead of conforming reality to what we want it to be. Unfortunately in a world of pluralism and relativsm where you and I are correct, this reality becomes convulted because your shades of white and black are not the same as mine. If it were, life would be much simpler; instead, we are left with shades of gray.